Things I Learned From TV Shows- Part 1
NEVER HAVE I EVER
If you are obsessing about someone, look at the reason underneath
Never Have I Ever is a brilliant coming of age dramedy created by Mindy Kaling and Lang Fisher. Devi, portrayed by the talented Maitreyi Ramakrishnan, loses her father in the beginning of the series, and the stress makes her unable to walk. Then comes handsome Paxton and like a miracle, Devi starts to be able to walk again. The series is about her grief and her teenage life, much of which revolves around Paxton. During the series, Devi starts seeing a therapist and yours truly, who’s never found a real life therapist who was a good fit, was enlightened by her advice. “Devi you are so desperate not to feel sad,” says Dr. Ryan, when Devi is talking about her crush Paxton- “you’ve made your whole world about this boy.”
And BAM- I realized I do the same thing. I get a crush, obsess about them and forget everything else. Is it because they are witty and awesome? A little. *insert dreamy sigh* But it’s also because it’s a damn good way to escape day-to-day problems, like the unwashed dishes soaking in the sink. Or the fact that the economy is down the toilet right now. Or even traumas buried deep. My crush’s deep pools of brown eyes are just much easier to think about, but they fix nothing. (If my crush somehow runs into this page- brown is a very common eye color, this doesn’t have to be about you. Also, ask me out already!)
Looking at that Little Screen
When I’m going about my day, the moment I lose concentration while working, I find myself checking my messages. Two minutes pass, and I open up Whatsapp again, and again, and again. Much like Devi, I ignore real life and concentrate on the little red Whatsapp notification. As Devi fixates on Paxton’s abs, I fixate on my crush’s messages. Why? Because it’s easier. It’s escapism. Some people use alcohol or drugs to escape life’s problems, I turn to romance.
I’m not saying liking someone romantically is harmful, or the initial rush of a relationship is unhealthy- I think both these things are amazing parts of living, the icing on top of the mixed flavored sundae that is life. I’m saying if it’s out of control, maybe it’s good to take a look at the underlying cause.
If that doesn’t help, you can write a self-chastising piece on Medium and hope that works. It kinda did for me. At least I didn’t look at Whatsapp whilst writing this.
I feel you, Devi.